Thursday, August 6, 2009

Crap Talk

For years now I have had to put others down to make myself feel better. I have felt that I could never measure up to other women so I had to find flaws in all of them and bring them down to my level. I think this is common amongst women. No matter how pretty or thin a woman is, leave it to another woman to find every flaw that woman has. “Let me completely tear this woman apart so I can feel a little bit better about myself.” Do you understand how stupid that is? It’s such a tragedy. Does it even make you feel better? For me it was never enough, I needed to put them down more and more. And even at that it still didn’t satisfy, because I still felt like I didn’t measure up. I think it has become an obsession for women to put others down.

When we are introduced to a woman, what are our first thoughts? “She’s pretty BUT her eyebrows are to close and she has a weird nose. She’s thinner then I am but she’s got no curves…etc.” I have been guilty of this SO many times. Even different Christian women that I met, “I don’t think she loves the Lord as much as I do because in praise and worship I was so lost in His presence and she wasn’t.” Really Sheila? If I was so lost in His presence why did I notice she wasn’t?


Matthew 7:1, 2 says “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measures you use, it will be measured to you.” Whoa! When I read this is was like a slap in the face. I always kind of knew this but it had never been revelation, where I knew it and I knew I needed to do something about it. Evil needed to stop coming from my mouth. I didn’t want to be judged like I was judging others, heck no! And then I realized how much it hurt the Lord, what I was saying about His beautiful creations. Matthew 7:3 – 5 “"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” Well I definitely had a few planks in my eyes.


As I got so caught up in everyone else’s flaws I began to bury mine deeper and deeper. I had built so many walls and covered so many things; I didn’t even realize they were there anymore. When the Lord began to “clean out my closets” it was so hard. There have been moments of just crying out for repentance before the Lord, Ashamed of my behavior. Ashamed of the things I had thought and said about His children. AS I got to the bottom of everything, the Lord showed me His love. He began to fill all the holes of insecurity in my heart. As I began to continue my walk with the Lord, I had thought right away I wouldn’t say anything bad about anyone and that I would love everyone and say nice things. Well, I didn’t realize that I needed to train myself to not give way to those thoughts. It was still a battle, but it was a battle that I was going to give everything to fight against. And this time I had the Lord fighting with me.


As women of God we need to set the standards of how a woman should be. For too long we have let the world create an image of how a woman should be and what she should look like, and for too long we have sat back and excepted it. A woman of God needs to let the Lord reveal His love to us so we can experience His love. Then we can show that Love to others, We need to invite others to see and experience God’s love through us. Then we can draw others into the Kingdom and let them experience His unconditional Love. We owe no man nothing, but to love them. Words of love, life, kindness and encouragement need to be what leaves our mouths instead of garbage. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, I’m not saying that at all. Being a woman of God is going to be the fight of our lives. We are going to have to stand up against everything the world believes, but isn’t it worth it? Knowing that we are standing up for our King; what an honor for us.

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